it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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