I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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