that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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