Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
