Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
