What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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