But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
