I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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