so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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