i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
whose ass print is on the piano?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
