But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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