Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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