Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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