Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
