Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
