He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Pants are for mortals
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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