One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
