HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
