update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
