My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
ttyl tear gas
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
