good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
