My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
