i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
