"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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