Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
