Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
