evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
