have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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