Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
