Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
