How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Randomize