Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
