the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
