We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
