I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
