fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I forget how to act sober
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
