I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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