so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
