How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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