No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
