I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
