I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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