Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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