I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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