question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
