hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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