Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
