what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
