Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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