please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
