my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
